The Eyes of the Beer Holder

Tits Mcgee

Today is Back to the Future II day.

Do you have any idea how much I worshiped at the altars of that movie?

I was a pretty depressed kid in junior high.

Everything about life at that age was more than I could handle – school was incompatible with my ADHD, I hated all the other kids (and they hated me right back), was dying of boredom in the suburbs and really having a lot of trouble with my parents.

So when this installment of the BTTF series arrived, it served as a gateway to a parallel universe where I pictured myself on a hoverboard and doing all the cool shit only a time machine could allow you to do.

Wanna give me shit about not doing my homework?

Fuck you – I’ll go for a walk in the woods and fantasize about going to the year 2022 and watch holograms portray a live enactment of Star Wars.

Who the hell needed real life anyway?

I’ll never regret having been born with a vivid imagination, but let me tell you, it sure does come with its share of handicaps.

As I grew into adulthood, I stumbled through a lot of social situations. See, while others were making an effort to integrate with each other, I did a pretty good job of living inside my own little bubble…

…a bubble with an entirely different set of rules and customs.

Once I started to make more of an effort to integrate, I realized just how much of a hole I had dug for myself.

This also extended to my professional life.

ADHD affected how well I did at learning new shit and giving up was easy, especially when you had a cool sub-reality to lose yourself in.

I sank my focus into what was stimulating enough to hold my attention – writing prose and collecting stuff (something about hunting items until I have them all was extremely engrossing).

Turns out neither of my interests were very promising and I was finally forced to apply myself to learning new professional skills that could pay the bills.

I guess you could say that, though it took a while, my re-integration was the equivalent of taking off the beer goggles and seeing things for what they really were.

It wasn’t easy, but then again, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Macking on a ‘2’ like she’s a ’10’

Our separatist friends refuse to take off their beer goggles.

Deep down in the sub-cockles of their hearts, they know the separatist lie they bed down each night is a Ratchet and not the super-model they gleefully pretend it to be.

Such is the fate of he or she who refuses an ugly truth for a beautiful lie.

I could go over some of the many comments that purport the ten seat the Bloc nabbed as some kind  of victory, but I’d just be covering familiar ground.

The fact that the PQ was only a few chairs shy of forming the secondary opposition in 2014 is indicative that quite a few people are tossing off their goggles.

The fact that the Bloc obtained ten seats with 19.5% of the vote this election as opposed to the four seats they picked up in 2011 with 25% of the vote shows us that their victory truly was a result of strategic voting.

Had the NDP been showing greater signs of sinking Harper’s battleship, the comments section of the JdM would’ve have been a little more dour.

Tell you this much – were Quebec to ever separate, I’d love to watch these minions stumble as their cushy little virtual reality becomes the real thing and they have to start taking action and responsibility. 🙂


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