Je Me Souviens

1995 quebec referendum

It was a night I won’t ever forget.

It was the first time I’d ever been in a bar that was solidly packed with people (who of course were imbibing the nectar of the Gods)…yet you could hear a pin drop.

Even through the commercial breaks that occasionally interrupted the coverage of the referendum, nary a word was spoken.

From what Jean-François Lisée described in his new book, the atmosphere was much the same in the hotel room Parizeau and his cohorts rented for the evening.

“Jamais deux sans trois”

As a federalist, you’re likely tempted to gloat and rejoice over the present state of the separatist movement.

This is why I’ve posted that picture in today’s post.

While the YES side presently has about 36% of the vote these days and 7 out of 10 youths oppose sovereignty, that doesn’t mean it’s over.

The only time the threat would truly be over is if the separatist threat were ruled an action of sedition and formally outlawed, but this will never happen as it’s a violation of the constitution.

While I find that the best the sovereignist movement could come up with to commemorate the 1995 referendum is laughable, doesn’t mean they’re not working on other designs.


Let’s not forget what the ADQ pulled off in 2007 with the ‘accommodement raisonnable’ movement. It struck such a chord with the Quebecois that the PQ campaigned on it in the last election several years afterward…

…and it led to the ridiculous covered-faces movement in the recent federal elections.

It’s been almost a decade since Mario Dumont first pushed this vile idea forward and the open resentment and seething contempt of others  it helped breed remains as hot today is it did the day the JdM ran pieces on Muslims demanding swimming pools free of female presence.

While the federalist side celebrates a victory and enjoys a comfortable lead on their opponents on this 20th anniversary of the referendum, just remember to stay frosty.

Remember there are men and women in the backrooms whose entire jobs consist of manufacturing tension, resentment and intolerance as a means to sways public “opinion” to their side.


The Eyes of the Beer Holder

Tits Mcgee

Today is Back to the Future II day.

Do you have any idea how much I worshiped at the altars of that movie?

I was a pretty depressed kid in junior high.

Everything about life at that age was more than I could handle – school was incompatible with my ADHD, I hated all the other kids (and they hated me right back), was dying of boredom in the suburbs and really having a lot of trouble with my parents.

So when this installment of the BTTF series arrived, it served as a gateway to a parallel universe where I pictured myself on a hoverboard and doing all the cool shit only a time machine could allow you to do.

Wanna give me shit about not doing my homework?

Fuck you – I’ll go for a walk in the woods and fantasize about going to the year 2022 and watch holograms portray a live enactment of Star Wars.

Who the hell needed real life anyway?

I’ll never regret having been born with a vivid imagination, but let me tell you, it sure does come with its share of handicaps.

As I grew into adulthood, I stumbled through a lot of social situations. See, while others were making an effort to integrate with each other, I did a pretty good job of living inside my own little bubble…

…a bubble with an entirely different set of rules and customs.

Once I started to make more of an effort to integrate, I realized just how much of a hole I had dug for myself.

This also extended to my professional life.

ADHD affected how well I did at learning new shit and giving up was easy, especially when you had a cool sub-reality to lose yourself in.

I sank my focus into what was stimulating enough to hold my attention – writing prose and collecting stuff (something about hunting items until I have them all was extremely engrossing).

Turns out neither of my interests were very promising and I was finally forced to apply myself to learning new professional skills that could pay the bills.

I guess you could say that, though it took a while, my re-integration was the equivalent of taking off the beer goggles and seeing things for what they really were.

It wasn’t easy, but then again, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Macking on a ‘2’ like she’s a ’10’

Our separatist friends refuse to take off their beer goggles.

Deep down in the sub-cockles of their hearts, they know the separatist lie they bed down each night is a Ratchet and not the super-model they gleefully pretend it to be.

Such is the fate of he or she who refuses an ugly truth for a beautiful lie.

I could go over some of the many comments that purport the ten seat the Bloc nabbed as some kind  of victory, but I’d just be covering familiar ground.

The fact that the PQ was only a few chairs shy of forming the secondary opposition in 2014 is indicative that quite a few people are tossing off their goggles.

The fact that the Bloc obtained ten seats with 19.5% of the vote this election as opposed to the four seats they picked up in 2011 with 25% of the vote shows us that their victory truly was a result of strategic voting.

Had the NDP been showing greater signs of sinking Harper’s battleship, the comments section of the JdM would’ve have been a little more dour.

Tell you this much – were Quebec to ever separate, I’d love to watch these minions stumble as their cushy little virtual reality becomes the real thing and they have to start taking action and responsibility. 🙂

2015 Live Election Coverage

2015 federal election

Ready for the pajama jams to end all other pajama jams?

I’ll be at the trusty ‘puter to follow the elections in live time after polling closes... 🙂

  • Got my beer ready and can’t wait – 45 minutes to go.
  • If the Poll Tracker is anything to go by (usually is) – The Bloc could see as many as 7 seats by night’s end.
  • Polls have closed in Newfoundland – first taste of next parliament jsut minutes away.
  • Damn! Libs leading in 3 NFLD ridings already.
  • 1st seat of the night goes to the Libs
  • Judy Foote clinches the 2nd Liberal seat of the night
  • Quebec votes are now being tallied
  • 5 Seat lead for the Libs
  • 10 Seats for the Libs and we might just be looking at a Red Wave
  • I’m excited – We’re still not done in the Maritimes and we’ve seen a LOT of change so far…can’t wait until counting begins in Kwe-bec
  • Really feeling for P.E.I MP Gail O’Shea – loved for her work and devotion, but dumped for the greater good. #CollateralDamage
  • Will Quebec turn the tide? To tell you the truth, I’d have more worries for the NDP than the Bloc at this point…
  • Really wanted to call CTV out for arrogance, but they have it covered. Cons only just elected their first MP now, after the Libs are already 31 deep.
  • Bloc has 8 leads – can they hold on?
  • Louis Plamondon, the Bloc’s resident career politician retains his (lonely) seat
  • It’s official – Justin Trudeau is our new prime minister
  • With only one seat, the BQ is OFFICIALLY DEAD 🙂 

Will Monday Prove A Historic End?

canada federal leaders

This morning, I was running through various Canadian media outlets and got to thinking about how this ONE election stands to mark such a substantial wave of change in Canadian politics.

I’m talking about the leaders.

I think we stand to lose more of them this election than any other.

Justin Trudeau is the only one who’ll still be standing, peut importe the outcome. Much as I dislike the guy, I have to give credit where it’s due: we all set the bar so low for the Fabio of politics that rising to the occasion was a cake-walk.

Look, let’s all be honest here – it seems pretty clear at this point that the Libs are going to put it away, albeit as a minority. However, even if he secure the Big Job I still believe the Libs would have kept him around for another run, understanding that with a little more age, he might come into his own by 2019.

Harper’s a total goner. Let’s face it, even if he pulls off a last-minute upset and holds on to power, he’ll be doing so with a minority government. You cannot render a control-freak impotent and expect a favorable outcome.

Whether he forms a minority government  or official opposition, Harper will see his lack of a majority victory as a sign that his time in politics has reached its best-by date. Actually, given that he’s been hanging out with Canada’s most infamous crackhead in a bid for last-minute votes, I think Harper already knows how Tuesday morning will begin.

Mulclair is no Jack Layton.

Technically, even Jack Layton wasn’t really Jack Layton – he was just an elevated former Toronto city Councillor who managed to strike upon the right formula at the right time to turn momentum in his party’s favor and worked it to maximum effect.

Even if Mulclair had discovered a similar formula, he just doesn’t have the charm to pull it off. He’s also severely lacking in the integrity department and  I truly believe this  is what tanked him. Sure, some argue its his rigid defense of the niqab (I do actually give the man points for that one). Others claim it was his aggressive debating style which made even Harper appear more amiable a person.

Personally, I believe that once you burn your integrity in politics, you are done and you can count on Mulclair calling it a career on Monday night. You just simply cannot justify blowing a lead as huge as the NDP had in the early going of the election.

So that’s two leaders you won’t be seeing in the house of commons anymore in a couple of days.

Gilles Duceppe…should never have come back.

Ever had that morbid urge to go on Youtube to watch a video depicting a Boeing nosediving into the tarmac and bursting into flames? That’s the BQ in 2011.

It’s as if Duceppe decided to hit the playback button on that video so that he could experience the sensation of having the hull of his aircraft rupture one more time and feel his political career once again get engulfed in flames.

The man is almost 70, so count on this being the last hurrah. Polls are showing that he’s trailing in his own riding, so I can’t see his outcome being anything more than a repeat of 4 years ago.

3 down…next:

Elizabeth May. Ugh. [shaking head while writing].

I may not have a friend like Doc Emmett Brown, but I can tell you this – if I got into a flying DeLorean and visited the year 2155…you know what Id’ see?

The Green Party of Canada would still not be in power! In fact, do you know how many seats they’ll have in the year 2155?

Three seats – c’est tout.

Yup, at the rate they’re going, count on this upstart collective of patchouli addicts to grow by one seat every generation. But here’s the thing – nothing will dislodge Elizabeth May.

This woman has few prospects waiting for her in the private sector. When she still had not made it into the House of Commons after her first bid, May tried to Cheez Whiz her way in with a senate appointment.

Even if she loses her seat, count on May to talk her party into keeping her in place a little longer so that she can draw a salary from the party purse.

Can you indulge me just one more little prediction? SVP?

OK – here goes. Trudeau wins a minority. Harper quits. His replacement sucks dog balls. Trudeau seizes on the opportunity, calls an early election and secures an easy majority.

Rumors of this blog’s demise have been greatly exaggerated

I know, I know…my consistency has been nothing short of shit over the past couple of months.

First there was the summer break, which I thought was just fine, because there really was little going on in the political arena.

Then summer ended and…not a whole lot happened when the assembly re-convened.

It’s just been so silent.

Sure, I could be talking up the federal election, but honestly, it really has failed to engage me.

Can I be perfectly honest?

Every single candidate this time around is a total asshole.

All of them.

Harper’s still the pickle-butt control freak he’s always been (BTW, for those of you who aren’t in the know, he’s actually a robot known as Conservatron).

Trudeau is a vapid pretty boy D-Bag who doesn’t hold a candle to his father’s legacy.

Mulclair is a Machiavellian piece of shit. While I can say I don’t trust any of these men, Mulclair  is the least trustworthy and got nailed hard on one of his longest-standing lies (the Mont Orford story). I truly believe he would have joined the Conservatives if they offered him a better deal.

As for Duceppe, well, what do you want me to say? Not only will the Bloc fumble even harder this election than the last, it looks like Gilles won’t even win his riding – two consecutive humiliations.

This whole flame-out with Duceppe and the Bloc also explains why I’ve been absent – the PQ seems to have gone radio-silent in its support of Duceppe and PKP has slinked away into the shadows.

He did however, come out into the light to introduce a candidate for his own for the coming provincial by-elections. Oh, and while PKP was out in the light, he profited from the occasion to deliver this little nugget to his news agency.

So can you understand why I’ve been dragging the ol’ heels? 

Added Notes:

During the PQ leadership race, I made predictions about seeing a few MNAs cutting out on the party, with the leading reason being that PKP is an insufferable tyrant.

So far, two have left, one for health reasons, the other for reasons I can’t even remember.

I have a feeling that my long-standing prediction that JF Lisee will be the next man out.

He just released a book in which he poo-poos the last referendum and talks up where the effort went wrong (funny how separatists are only realizing this 20 years later).

So far, the book has enraged Parizeau’s widow, Lisette Lapointe, who publicly lashed out at Lisee and it’s worth pointing out that PKP is only mentioned once in the whole thing, which is quite odd.

I have to admit that Lisee does intrigue me. He’s proven me right in my assertion that he is a total sociopath. I mean the guy is heavily disliked within his own party, got no support from any members during his leadership run and yet, he continues to stick around.

This is why the one change I’m making to my prediction is that I no longer see him quitting, but being ousted for being so douchey, not even a gang of separatists can tolerate him.

While we’re on the topic of assholes, let’s touch down on the French.

By now everyone’s heard of their reputation as smarmy snobs with attitudes, but I always thought it’d be different for me given that I’m from Quebec. Not so.

Thanks to The Cat for sharing  this link in which you can see what the French truly think of their western cousins