You’re all coming with me!!

Peladeau politicien

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Where was the English media for Sugar Sammy?

All the usual suspects have come out swinging against Sammy le Sucre, including our favourite buffoon, Mathieu Bock-Côté and the SSJB. (Any surprise that it’s PKP’s news rag that’s leading the charge there?)

Dutrizac’s on board as well.

We all saw that coming.

My only question is…who’s got Sammy’s back in the English media (with the exception of Global TV).

If any separatists are reading this and wondering why the Anglo/immigrant community hates the OQLF so much, here are a few reminders:

Pastagate

Biftek, not steak

Beef with Joe Beef

This Isn’t Star Wars, Pierrot!

You’ll never find me shedding any tears for PKP.

Not under any circumstances.

Do I even need to go over his recent gaffe over proclaiming that the Bloc Québécois is useless and irrelevant…and then backtrack 48 hours later?

You probably heard all about it.

Probably even sick of hearing about it.

But this most recent gaffe is the symptom of something far deeper.

For months now, PKP’s been dodging and weaving reporters since entering into the National Assembly and hiding behind Facebook to address the plebes.

Sorry, Pierrot – that’s not the way politics works.

You’re not a CEO anymore where people answer to you according to your schedule.

I’m your boss now.

Anne-Marie Dubé in Laval is your boss.

Raynald Fortier in Sept-Iles is your boss.

Damien Philpot in Trois-Rivières is your boss.

What this means is, when you have the powers to help execute new laws we must adhere to or set new tax rates we’ll be forced to pay, you will respond to the scrum that meets you outside the chamber you had just participated in.

You want to play around on Facebook and Twitter?

You’ll do so on your time…not on our dime.

C’est aussi simple que ça.

Poor Little Rich Kid, Part Deux

I’ve seen a few references to Richie Rich when PKP’s critics talk about him in social media.

The more PKP continues in his ways, it’s becoming quite evident that they’re very right with their comparisons.

PKP is in his fifties, but is carrying on like a 19-year-old with no regard for the machinations of the real world.

It’s really not entirely his fault…I’ll give him at least that much.

He was born into wealth, and this can be a dastardly trap.

It’s the reason why Gene Simmons of KISS will not bequeath his vast fortune to his kids – he wants them to make it on their own.

Now that he’s in politics, the coddled egg that is the future king of the PQ (c’mon, let’s not kid ourselves), sees himself as Luke Skywalker…his mission is to liberate to good, oppressed people of Quebec from the tyranny of Darth Harper.

As you’ll see in the picture at the very top of this post, it depicts that famous scene in Star Wars where Ben Kenobi places a helmet on Skywalker’s head that deprives him of site in order to give him his first lesson in the ways of the force.

Trust your instincts” Ben tells Luke.

And right there, in just three words, PKP’s illusion of himself as a Jedi liberator is smashed.

If he’s to adopt any movie persona, it’s that of Richie Rich, because the silver spoon he uses to pry his foot from his mouth each day shows us that as a coddled egg, he never developed instincts.

Born leaders are powered by many traits – bold thinking, acumen and empathy, which are channeled through instinct.

Beware of Landry, Pierrot!

With Marois now out of the picture and the leadership race driving a wedge between PKP and many other more experienced MNAs who could’ve guided him along, he’s sought out a mentor.

Such is the way of the coddled egg – it always needs a hand to hold.

After his father left this earthly realm, PKP sought help from Brian Mulroney.

To help him navigate the treacherous waters of the political world, Pierrot has turned to Bernard Landry.

Toxic fit – Landry epitomizes a man who never could grow into something bigger and better with age.

Unlike other former PQ leaders such as Parizeau and Bouchard, who’ve mellowed with age and no longer champion the idea of ‘sovereignty at any cost‘, Landry still toes that line.

I’ve already mentioned that he’s actually gotten worse with time, growing ever more frustrated and bitter as another year on his mortal lease expires and he realizes he’ll be taking the big sleep without having realized his life’s work.

Instead, Landry will pass his anger, frustration and bitterness onto a 53-year-old teenager who’s innate gullibility will soak up every last drop of the venom.

Think I’m being too hard on old-man-Landry?

You tell me.

Take a look at this picture:

Recognize the bald guy with his arm around Landry?

That’s Michel Brûlé, author of the book Anglaid, wherein he describes why the English language is an ugly language.

This man hates English so much, that a bar he owned was prohibited from playing ANY English music.

Now how about this man:

Yes, that’s Pierre Falardeau, uber-racist, about to get a nice big hug from our separatist teddy bear.  Quick reminder: Falardeau is the guy who referred to David Suzuki as a ‘Japanouille’ (Japa-noodle).

What I’m pointing out here is that Landry unashamedly holds company with the most radical and racist elements of the separatist movement.

Though Landry and René Lévesque were very close friends back in the day, I get the feeling that if Lévesque were still around now, he would have put distance between himself and his old chum.

Leaders Are Made & Born

I’m believe that quite sincerely.

Some men and women are born with alpha characteristics that drive them to take charge from the very beginning. While other kids get a paper route, there’s that one kid who gets a ton of them and farms them out to the other kids.

Then there are those who are more beta in the beginning, but circumstances and events gradually mild them and ultimately transform them into a far stronger entity than they started as.

PKP is neither.

He never had a paper route – his daddy published papers and Pierrot would sip lemonade while watching other boys deliver the news and wonder what it must be like to have to work for such little money.

PKP never faced true adversity. The proof is in the way he’s handling life as a politician. Some may argue that his time at the helm of Quebecor may have shaped him, but he always had directors and yes men to guide him along.

Pierrot is left with only two choices – STFU and endure your trial by fire (jeez…middle aged and it’s only NOW that he faces his first true challenge in life)…

…or quit politics and go back to surrounding himself with yes men who cater to his every whim without question.

Stéphane Bédard’s dreaming of a white Christmas (like his papa & grandpapa used to know)

Stéphane BédardA few years ago, the president of the National Assembly took it upon himself to forbid then-premier Jean Charest from referring to Stéphane Bédard as a tête de Slinky (Slinky Head) because of his habit of bobbing his head up and down looking for an opportunity to make what he believes in his own mind would be a hard-hitting point.

While we all know that the PQ is pretty weak in the integrity department and trip over their past statements on a daily basis, Slinky Head out-does them all (which makes him a risky choice for interim leader).

Example?

Here goes:

Back in the day when PKP was still a media magnate and not a C-rate politician, Bédard was one of his most ardent opponents and really set fire to his name whenever a lock-out would occur. Today however, you’ll find him overlapping his contradictions.

Not only does Bédard defend his now-beloved PKP, he protects him against the very same acts he forced another politician into retiring for.

Alright – not going to waste time as a broken record here. We’ve already established that he’s a duplicitous slime bag.

But now, he’s given us the delightful opportunity to call him a racist…and be 100% accurate in doing so:

Stéphane Bédard vante les vertus d’un Québec souverain et homogène

All I can say is merci, Stéphane, merci!

Look, we already know that the very foundation of the movement in rooted in a strong dislike/hatred/suspicion of ‘les autres’.

But every once in a while, you get a nice bright shiny, gleaming example of it.

For those of you who are not familiar with the term homogeneity, it’s the fundamental goal that is applied to all nationalistic movements.

Simply put – it means that a society that is in favor of homogeneity is not a big fan of people who are different than them.

Almost makes me wonder how Maka “Uncle Tom” Kotto must feel like right now. Actually, that’s not true – that chump sold his own people down the river a long time ago, so he must not feel anything any more…such is the plight of the shill.

Bédard’s love of the fact that his society is predominantly white and French-speaking cannot be construed as anything less than racist.

See No Evil…

Over the weekend, a group of separatists duked it out with their opponents in the comments section of the Radio-Canada piece that covered the Bédard story. 

As per usual, instead of trying to explain why their leader would make such a heinous statement, the separatists deflected.

One minute we’re talking about racism and then, like magic, we’re talking about Liberal “corruption”.

It was the same thing as when PKP was found to be in direct violation of National Assembly rule by lobbying for Mel’s Studios. The separatists started talking about how much money the Desmarais family had…even though no one in the Desmarais family holds a position in public office.

Ultimately, deflection can only delay the inevitable.

With the pretenders to the PQ throne now distancing themselves from the toxic piece of proposed legislation (Charte des Valeurs) that cost them the last elections, it’s clear to at least some that acting with a suspicion of ‘les autres’ has fallen out of favour with the electorate.

Personally, I believe someone put Bédard up to this. Slinky Head has nothing to lose by making such a statement, but the person who put him up to it has everything to gain from being able to sit back and see if he can sell a vision of a Quebec that is modelled after Norway, Denmark, Iceland and Belgium.

One caveat for anyone trying to sell that vision: Iceland is SO homogeneous, an entrepreneur actually had to develop an app to curb unintentional inbreeding. Food for thought, sucka.

Hitting the LOLZ Button

I try not to make a habit of laughing at the dead, but good God was Pierre Felardeau ever a nasty piece of work.

I mean this guy was about as racist as a separatist gets, so it’s with great pleasure that I present to you a video I had never seen before whereby Falardeau is portrayed by Fraçois Morency.

NOTE: If your comprehension of French isn’t strong, this’ll go right over your head. Sorry.

How a Taxi App Signals the End of Quebec’s Sovereignist Movement

Uber.

If you haven’t hear of Uber yet, here’s the quick low-down: it’s an app that allows car owners to use their vehicles as taxis.

The way it works is, when someone needs a ride, they check the app on their phones to see what drivers are close by. They select the closest one and then their credit card gets charged by Uber, who in turn deposits the sum into the driver’s account.

So far, it’s proving a success.

The drivers are proving to be friendlier than the average cabbie, the prices are better, and the vehicles are better kept than the average taxi.

And the more word spreads about Uber, the more blood-loss the conventional cab industry suffers.

Since Uber hit the scene, Canada’s cab companies have been mobilizing together to mount an offensive.

They’re presently launching a PR campaign aimed at selling the general public why their option…the more expensive, poorly serviced, inefficient, monopolized (up until now anyhow) option is the best one to choose.

We know this song well in Quebec.

The taxi companies need only look at the sovereignist movement to know that they are in very, very serious shit.

For years now, the separatists have watched on helplessly as their movement recedes.

They’ve banded their many support groups and lobbies together many times over those years to assemble committees on sovereignty, studies on sovereignty, brainstorm sessions on sovereignty, community picnics for sovereignty…ad naseum.

Why won’t they listen to us?” they sniffle as each event draws lower and lower turnouts.

The answer is simply that the sovereignist option is the equivalent of the rude, rip-off artist cabbie driving around in a taxi full of puke and other miscellaneous bodily fluids.

You cannot sell the public what it DOES NOT want.

It’s the number one rule of business.

When Henry Ford presented the motorized car, buggy makers and horsewhip manufacturers had to figure out a new game plan.

Same for anyone involved in the typewriter industry – when the word processor became common place.

The public voted en masse with their dollars for the word processor and the motorized vehicle.

How is Quebec’s political landscape any different?

We all know that the sovereignist movement is heavily linked with the socialist movement – it’s one of their prime arguments for separation…that a “free” Quebec would show the labour sector more love than Canada.

THIS is the independent Quebec the Parti Quebecois wants to sell you:

Quebec Work Ethic

…is it really any wonder that Quebec’s taxpayers voted en masse for austerity?

See, austerity is only a bad word if you’re on the receiving end of the measure.

Public sector workers, while there are more of them per capita in Quebec than in most other jurisdictions, still only make up a minority of the province’s population, which of course means that the majority of the province’s tax payers stand to benefit from austerity in the long term.

Take a close look at that picture…if you live somewhere urban, you’ve seen this scene many times before.

We all have sympathy for the Andrés of those groups.

But man, oh man, do we ever loathe all those lazy schleps who stand by idly, soaking up our tax dollars. We seethe as we drive by the scene on our way to our private sector jobs, where the same behaviour would see us fired in a New York minute.

Well, the day of reckoning has finally arrived.

The Liberals, as with most of the electorate, have woken up to the fact that we don’t need even 50% of the people on the public payroll.

These people are the buggy makers, the typewriter repairmen and soon, the taxi drivers who no longer offer anything of value to the market and are clinging to their jobs for a myriad of reasons – fear of the unknown (especially if they’ve had their jobs all their lives), pride or fear of having to conform to the ways of the private sector.

It’s the same story with the leaders of the separatist movement…they know that if this base of their movement erodes, it’ll be the total end of their movement for this generation.

Over the past year, they attempted to sell the public la Charte des Valeurs. Only the bottom of Quebec’s barrel bought that loathsome product.

And to think – they are trying to sell their Charte at a time when Quebec is suffering from a massive brain drain.

I have a little treat for you if you’re in the mood to have your blood boil – look at that picture of the construction workers one more time...then read this.

Kinda makes you want to throw something at the wall doesn’t it?

But wait…there’s more!

Click here to listen to the infamous union goon, Rambozo, in all his vulgar Hochelagan anti-eloquence plead with the mayor of Sept-Îles to help keep even more workers on artificial respiration, whether we actually need them or not.

And this is why no one is crying for the people Rambozo represents anymore.

The Tribe Has Spoken

To borrow from the show Survivor, the tribe has spoken:

“Hey separatists, we don’t need (or want) you any more.”

Like cockroaches however, the seps will not move on – they continue forward with their efforts until the public repeatedly refutes them at the ballot box, with each new turn more disastrous than the next.

Should any sepias be reading, here is a parting tip – before his passing, Steve Jobs had a strategy of killing products at the apex of their popularity. He did this to create a voracious appetite in Apple customers. Sometimes, he’d kill a popular product before it had run for a full year. Obviously, it worked.

Point is, the Parti Quebecois has had a whopping 40 years to make it’s goal a reality and even at the very apex of the sovereignist movement’s popularity, the public still didn’t buy.

Separatist Speak for Dummies

I’ve gotten a couple of comments regarding the fact that not all readers understand written French, and that’s cool, so today, I’ve created a special guide for you to refer to in the future.

The words and terms listed here are very commonly used by separatists when they’re busy having one of their pity parties offline in a bar or on social media.

Here we go:

Aplaventrisme – Alright, you know when your dog shits on your carpet and knows you’re mad as hell and all he wants is for you to somehow forget all about it, so he lays flat on his stomach, chin flat on the ground too, looking up at you hoping for forgiveness? There you go.

Assimilé – No different than it’s English counter-part. 

Colonisé – Simply put, colonized. Those who’ve accepted federalism are ‘colonisé’ because they accepted the ‘tyrannical rule of the Anglo Saxon’ elite.

Desmarais – This isn’t a word, I know. But it might as well be a noun, as it has become the official emblem of the wealthy Francophone who is quite proud of being a federalist.

Don’t be inquiète – Once again, not a word, but one of the last things an Anglo hears before another of his/her rights are abrogated. When you do ever hear this, be inquiète…be very inquiète!

Émanciper – Once again, sounds just like its English counterpart.

Fédérastes – This doesn’t actually mean anything per se, but for some reason, many separatists seem to think it insults federalists. Used to be that only the welfare contingent used it, but now, the PQ has reached such a low that they feel a need to employ it as well.

Larbin – this is attributed to anyone the OUI camp deems to be a servant or proverbial housemaid, which is basically every single person who has no issue with Ottawa. Think Samuel L. Jackson in Django Unchained.

Maître chez nous – The grand raison d’être that acts as the cattle call for separatist troglodytes to unite.

Petit – Direct translation: small. Why is it here? Refer to this to better understand.

Peuple à genoux – Very popular song that has gone on to become a common descriptor. When you hear a separatist complaining that the Quebecois as a peuple à genoux, they’re telling you they see themselves as a nation on their knees before Ottawa. (yes, really).

Soumis – Submissive.

Vendu – A sell-out, as in, ‘if you’re a Francophone who succeeds in a unified Canada, that makes you a sell-out’. Be sure to also refer back to Desmarais for more details.

Land of the Petit Penseurs

If you’re an anglophone living in Quebec who hasn’t quite grasped the French language to the fullest, you might be familiar with the word petit.

That’s especially the case if you listen to what separatists have to say.

They accuse the federal government of leaving Quebec with le petit pain (essentially meaning Ottawa takes an entire loaf and leaves them with the dinner roll you see at the St. Hubert’s).

If you listen to what federalist Francophones have to say about separatists, you’ll hear them use terms such as ‘petit penseur’ (mentally weak) and/or ‘petit peuple’ (fickle/insignificant people).

We see at least one example of the ‘petit penseur’ complex in Quebec each day.

A lot of people in the ROC scratch their heads wondering, how can separatists be so utterly ridiculous?

The short answer (to avoid having to write the history book): When France colonized Quebec, they took a page out of Britain’s playbook when they colonized Australia – they sent all their garbage over.

Yes, that’s right – the vast majority of Quebec’s initial population was composed of pimps, thieves, rapists, fraudsters and bank robbers.

When the king of France got wind that his soldiers were copulating with the ‘dirty native’ women that they were instead supposed to suppress, he sent in a legion of hookers.

Fast forward to the military conflict France had with Britain…

…The English kicks the French army’s ass.

Surviving French soldiers round up the French aristocrats and together they abandon Quebec…leaving the pimps, thieves, rapists, fraudsters and bank robbers…and hookers behind.

Like with Australia, time and evolution saw future generations shrug off the ways of their forebears and create good lives for themselves.

There’s no doubt in my mind that some of these criminals took their chance at freedom over a life in jail as a godsend and swore to set themselves straight.

However, for some, breaking away from the mould set by mom and dad ain’t so easy (just look at Pierre Falardeau’s kids) and they carried on in their parent’s ways.

The very fact that their parents were pimps, thieves, rapists, fraudsters and bank robbers (and hookers) was because they had a very limited world view, are obviously cynical and thus are very accustomed to having adversarial relationships.

The fact that the separatist movement is stagnating ever faster is proof that yet another generation is pulling away from the nasty roots cast by the founding pimps, thieves, rapists, fraudsters and bank robbers (and hookers).

But we’re not quite there yet.

Case in point: Mr. Couillard delivering a speech in Iceland…totally in English.

Imagine that – Quebec’s representative to the outside world, speaking to the outside world…in THE language OF the outside world.

Social media lit right up like a big bright KKKristmas tree with the last remaining descendents of the pimps, thieves, rapists, fraudsters and bank robbers (and hookers) calling Couillard a ‘sell-out’ and everything else they have in their arsenal of redundancy.

Of course, none of them had a comeback for this one:

I’m sure that most of you have had the displeasure of seeing at least one animal in your lives in a dying state and seeing how that animal reacts to the fact that it will soon be dead.

With the total sovereignist vote (PQ/QS/ON) garnering just 14% in Levis, things are looking pretty damn grim right about now.

By picking up on non-Franco speech delivered by Couillard, the separatists have shown us just how close their animal is to death.